Monday, August 3, 2009


Dear Allyson,

I just wanted to make a post to how much I love lunch time. I mean, I get to leave for for an hour to enjoy it. Usually my boyfriend, Zac Effron, makes me lunch so I don't have to do anything. Also, lunch food is so delish. Sandwiches are so tasty and easy! Thanks Lunch Time! You are the best.


p.s- we should do lunch this week.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Doing the Casual

Dear Mikayla,

I was on my way to Curves yesterday, and you will never believe what I saw. Well, you know how I live in a wealthy part of Cincinnati? And you know how EVERYONE seems to always be exercising, walking their dog, or walking their children? Well, yesterday was no exception.

I saw a man walking his dog, while smoking a cigar.

In broad daylight. Casually, as if it was perfectly normal to be smoking a Cuban Cigar while waltzing down Madison Road with your maltese.

I could not believe my good fortune! Surely a vision as rare and unbelievable as this could only mean that good things are to come my way! I mean, really?!


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Waukon, Iowa

Dear Allyson,

I am in Iowa.

(except me, OBV.)

I'm sorry I am so out of the blog world.
I will surely return with tonz of sass-a-frass.

Thanks for keeping up the hard work!

aka xxxxfarm gurlxxx

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


COMING SOON! Fashion Give-Aways and Contests related to PeanutButterJelly Day!

Formatting Life is a Bitch

Dear Blogger,

I hate formatting using your "easy" outlines and templates. It sucks. I spend far too long working and tweaking my words and photos, and never ever quite get it to look just right, especially when I'm entering a contest.

However. I honestly believe it's me, not you. I need to learn the software. I'm the one that is ignorant of computer literacy! I'm hatin' the game, not the playa.

No hard feelings,

Tantalizing, Tempting, Tasty, Terrifying Transformations!

Dear Mikayla,
This is the "Terrific Transformations" contest entry. God, I love alliteration. Seeing how the power of this blog is that it is a TANDEM blog, I wanted you to do it too, but you are obviously busy being in love and visiting your family on vacation for a surprise 50th Anniversary Party. We shall see how far that gets you!
Anyway, Transformation. Let me tell you something, dear Mikayla, and listen up just as well as you possibly can: I have been the exact same since I was born. I came out of the womb la ti da-ing and sa-shaying, and eating delicious food. I had an awesome smile, a combo klutz/glide gait, and was nicknamed "Hungry Hungry Hippo" at a very early age. These attributes still remain. I have been this girl, this happy, loving girl, since the day I was born. Look at that face! That's the face of a future superblogger!

What, then, am I doing on this contest? Well, dear Mikayla, my transformation is as universal as any: One day, I grew up. OH--ONE DAY?! Sorry, by "one day" I actually meant within the course of two years. That's right, baby, I went to college. And not just any college, dear Mikayla, but our college--ol' beloved Cincinnati Conservatory of Music, studying for a BFA in Dramatic Performance. Such a big step from li'l ol' Farmersville, Texas.

I was crushed.

I was overwhelmed.

I was focused entirely on myself.

And one day (this is where the "day" factor comes in), I realized I needed to be a better listener.

I know, novel idea, right?

So, I volunteered. A LOT. (and still do!)
I broke up with the Love of my Life, commonly referred to as "Chris Pine" on this blog. It may not have been a good idea, but it is what I needed, then.
I stand by that decision.

I dated, and had my idea of "self" tested.

I chopped my hair off.

Look at that face! Fearless!

I missed my family!
That family lives in Farmersville, Texas. That mama lives in Farmersville, Texas. This is a girl doing her own taxes, working for her education, paying for her own braces.
...ah, I feel like I'm on my own high horse, now. So let's keep this short and simple.

I've transformed into the girl I always hoped I would be.

"How?! How, did you do it," I'm sure you are asking. Well, my secret is one that you also do every day. You breathe. You go to work. You have things happen. I did it the same way...

I did it by just living this life!

I was now paying attention to my emotions and physical reactions, taking the time to really pay attention to what I was interested in, and getting up and moving my sleepy rear into action. I woke up to what I had to offer myself, and started rising to my own expectations.

That tiny girl is me, obviously NOT in Cincinnati------------->

Mikayla, if I win a hundred bucks from for this, you are going to be sorry that you felt like living your own life instead of bloggity-blogging it up in your own cold, metallic cubicle. SERIOUSLY. :)

Love, as ever,

P.S. Like my favorite show, "Master Chef," the contestants enter a competition, playing for a cause they believe. Any winnings from this contest entry are being matched in FULL to this amazing girl: Amanda Mauppin. Within the past year, Amanda has undergone her own transformation; she's almost home-free of her cancer, almost a cancer survivor. Amanda Mauppin is a sassy girl that I absolutely believe in. Go Amanda!

Blogger Mikayla is a Hot Girl!

and apparently an angry one. Have fun, Mikayla!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Seventies Heart Attack

Dear Mikayla,

Please have a heart attack over how evocative this photograph is of real-life seventies experiences. Once you get past the initial shock of the funky wallpaper, try focusing on the people Does it look like this woman is barefoot? It does. Know why? She's wearing plastic heels, a la Cinderella. And his matching suit? Timeless and trapped, all at the same time.

I love them.


P.s. this is my mom

Pat Heine

Dear Mikayla,



Wandering Around a City I've Lived in for Two Years

Dear Mikayla,

I used to be upset about how little I actually knew about this city we live in. Cincinnati is just as big a place as anywhere, kind of, and I was lost within it. I was depressed being in a place that I just really didn't understand, a place of dark corners and disclosed secrets.

Then I got a life. And a car.

And I've been getting lost and exploring ever since. The day we went to Lynn's Paradise Cafe was a perfect day in my mind. I dropped you and Zac Efron off about four, and headed down to the Cincinnati Public Library. Today was the day I was going to become recognizably literate. After spending a few hours there, I decided to take a walk around the downtown area. It was quaint. I looked adorable in my fifties inspired dress from, and it was noticed by men over thirty. I found corners and streets I had never been on before, and I pieced a map of downtown Cincy together in my mind. I found an outdoor concert at Fountain Square, and stumbled into Cincy Shakes, just in time to get a fifth row seat to "Engagement!" which was more delightful than I possibly could've hoped for. Such a beautiful day inspired me to do much the same the following, and I spent Saturday at the Cincy Museum of Art, Mt. Adams, and a carnival that I ran into. It was a sweet way to live a pleasantly spontaneous weekend.

Love, Allyson

Ah, Mount Adams. Quaint, quiet, little boozer town. First looks can sure be deceiving...

Oh, couch on the street--what secrets do you hold for me? Can I come sit on you? No? Oh, you don't have cushions. That's okay, I understand.

Ohio's First President, an achievement we ALL can be proud of.

Louisville, Kentucky is a Hip Place to Be

Dear Mikayla,
Remember this journey? It was the kick-off to your vacation week. I sure do. It was incredible.
Look at Zacpoo, here, waiting for you to return from the bathroom. He seems seconds away from murdering your urinary system for taking you away from him.
And this great picture. You both look so hip in this fly hip city. Fly hip.

Bookstores make everyone pleasant! Everyone that can read, that is. We got asked to get out of the aisle when there was obviously nobody coming into the store, and I only bought one book (which seems inappropriate considering the amount of time we spent in there), but we did have a great time reading intros to world topics and philosophies.

Ah, the many Heine Bros. Coffee Shops. One located on almost every block! Remember when you broke the display refridgerator?
And remember the two men who fixed it for you? Louisville is full of nice home grown folks!
Look at this contemporary sculpture. It has grace, elegance, sustainability...0h, wait.....that's a bike rack, isn't it?
Why, yes. Yes, it is.

How to Stay Happy and Live Young: Hat Party

Dear Mikayla,
I am impressed by your "It Girl" attitude! Even in the face of sheer ridiculousness, you manage to make wine glass sunglasses look cool. Oh, how do you do that?! Even when you specifically matched them to Zac Efron's alcoholic beverage glasses selection, both of you doing the couple matchy-matchy, you STILL look absolutely careless and fabulous. How oh how do you do it? Love, Allyson