Sunday, July 19, 2009

Hair and the Hot Hair Focus Group

Dear Mikayla,
Since cutting my hair shorter and shorter over a year ago, I have become acutely aware of demographic of men that tend to hit on me.
Long Hair = boys my own age
Short Hair = men at least thirty years old
Now, this is nice, I know. I mean, I'll take a little attention wheresoever it may come from. But what IS IT about the young, cute, and available men that makes them want to not hit on me? Is it the fact that my short hair is not quite the distraction my long hair used to be? Is it that these men can now focus on my pleasantly plump status, that the older men see this as a means of child-rearing and comfort? Is it that the older men could perhaps be attracted to my sparkling personality, my sassy look, my "woman of herself" aura? Whatever it may be, it is especially creepy to have a thirty-something man hit on me, while I'm working, while his daughter is in tow. How can I appropriately alert this man to the fact that he was getting a drivers' license while I was being squeezed into the world? How can I tell him that while he was getting a divorce, I was getting a learner's permit? How? HOW?!
I can't, really. So I don't. Because he's charming. And he's cute. And right now, I'm in a good mood.
Suck it long hair (which I kind of miss right now),

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