Friday, July 10, 2009

Bride-warz


[thanks laura47]
Dear Allyson,

I do not know if it would be considered my love of weddings. It may, however, be my love of wedding cakes, or my love of cake in general that appreciates the post. However, I stand by my accusation that fondant tastes like shit.

Oh, wedding shows. I myself do not really know if I want to get married. Why do I stay tuned? You pull me in with all of your over hyped drama. I have to stay tuned to find out if your trashy wedding design, overbearing mother, and uninterested fiancee come together to make a "day you'll never forget."

The best of the wedding shows, however, are those about wedding cake. I mean, who doesn't like shows about Cake! I can get really emotionally involved with someone's life and not feel bad about watching a show who's purpose is to humiliate (see MTV's 16 and pregnant.) While these cakes do look amazing, the hard clay like substance they use to make their over the top designs just seems nasty. How good could clay taste? Also, with a name like fondant, how is it suppoed to get much love? Fondant? Really? Try fond-can't.


With that, I'll end my rant on cake.
i'm hungry.

TLC you kill me,
Mikayla

1 comment:

  1. Dear Mikayla,

    I want to clarify something. Have you ever actually eaten fondant? Because, while we were watching Master Chef and eating salads in the pool house the other day, I was under the impression that you had not.

    And while I support your rants and love of cake and tv shows that suck you in without making you feel worse about your own life for watching them, I want to make you eat fondant before I trust your opinion.

    Perhaps the magic of fpndant comes from the fact that it looks amazing on cakes. Maybe bakers everywhere substitute the taste of delicious frosting for the spectacle of amazing art. If customers accept, go for it. I mean, thousands of fondant cakes are made all of the time.

    I looked up a simple recipe for fondant, and found that there are a ton of recipes for it! Perhaps the suck-y fondants are what you are basing your tasty opinion off of?

    1 Tbsp of unflavored gelatin
    1/4 cup of cold water
    1 tsp of almond extract
    1/2 cup of light corn syrup (If a corn syrup is not available, you can substitute it with a sugar syrup made with 1-1/4 cups sugar and 1/3 cup water, boiled together until syrupy)
    1 Tbsp of glycerin (some recipes say it’s optional, believe me, it’s a must)
    2 lbs 10X confectioners’ sugar
    1/2 tsp of white vegetable shortening
    Directions how to make the fondant recipe:
    Sprinkle the gelatin over cold water in a small bowl and let it rest for 2 minutes to soften
    Place the bowl in a microwave for 30 seconds on High, until the gelatin dissolves
    Add the Almond extract

    Add the corn syrup and the glycerin and stir until the mixture is smooth and clear (if the mixture is not turning smooth and clear, microwave it for an additional 15 to 20 seconds on high and stir again)
    Sift 1 1/2 pounds of the sugar into a large bowl
    Make a hole in the sugar and pour the liquid mixture to it
    Stir with a wooden spoon until the mixture becomes sticky
    Sift some of the remaining 1/2 pound of sugar onto a smooth work surface and add as much of the remaining sugar as the mixture will take
    Knead the fondant, adding a little more sugar if necessary, to form a smooth, pliable mass
    Rub the vegetable shortening on your thumbs and knead it into the fondant
    Wrap the fondant in plastic wrap and place it in a tightly sealed container to prevent it from drying out
    If the icing dries out and harden it can often be revived by popping it into a microwave oven for a few seconds and then kneading it back to life

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